Don’t Just Ask "Why Are You on Your Phone So Much?": Understanding Youth Perspectives and Key Mindsets for Parents
The debate over mobile phone management in schools has become a hot topic in society, sparked by a recent decision by some secondary schools requiring Form 3 and 4 students to store their phones in designated lockers. While parents, students, and schools pull back and forth between "prohibition" and "autonomy," the Education Bureau has largely downplayed the issue under the guise of "school-based management."
At KELY Support Group, we have served young people in Hong Kong for over 30 years. We know deeply from experience that rules alone cannot substitute for education. If we want young people to use digital technology healthily and correctly, what we need is understanding, not just prohibition.
The Real Reasons Young People Can't Put Down Their Phones
Before we dive into the issue of phone or internet addiction, it helps to understand what young people are actually doing when they pick up their phones. The answers are far more diverse and more human than many adults assume:
- Social Connection: Staying connected with friends and maintaining social bonds that are genuinely important to their physical and mental wellbeing.
- Exploring the World: Using devices to learn and create, exploring content and information that goes beyond the classroom.
- Emotional Regulation: Regulating difficult emotions—scrolling through content when they feel anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed to find brief relaxation and respite.
These demands are highly authentic, yet they are progressively evolving into a critical challenge. According to a Department of Health report, a staggering 81.8% of secondary school students and 41.8% of primary school students in Hong Kong spend 2 hours or more daily on electronic screen entertainment. A survey by The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups also revealed that nearly 80% of Hong Kong youth use social media for more than 4 hours a day, with a higher frequency of use being positively correlated with severe anxiety levels, reflecting that the more frequently youth use social media, the more severe their anxiety tendencies become.
In the face of these warning signs, the international trend is certainly moving towards restriction. For instance, a United Nations report highlighted that half of all countries worldwide have introduced some form of in-school phone ban or limit, and research from the Netherlands has confirmed that such bans help improve classroom focus and academic performance.
However, we must be cautious of a dangerous misunderstanding—the belief that locking a phone away in a locker solves the underlying issue.It does not—any more than banning vaping devices stops a young person from wanting to vape.
Digital Literacy Is the True Solution
The deeper question is not whether young people should be allowed to use phones at school, but whether they possess the skills to navigate technology intentionally, critically, and safely. This core capability, which we call 'Digital Literacy', is not born but must be systematically cultivated. It means that young people are able to:
- See Through Algorithms: Understand how social media algorithms are purposefully engineered to capture the brain’s attention.
- Think Critically: Evaluate the credibility of online information to avoid falling into consumer traps and adopting distorted values.
- Build Autonomy: Set personal boundaries with technology so that online information does not dictate all of their life choices.
In KELY’s frontline work, we encounter countless young people who are sophisticated users of technology but who are entirely unaware of how they are being pulled along by technology. When we change our approach and stop blaming them with "Are you spending too long on your phone?", and instead guide them to reflect on "What does your phone give you, and what does it take away?" The responses they give are often remarkably honest and self-aware. This is exactly the preventive education we need to tackle the issue at its root.
Parents: The Most Powerful “Digital Literacy Mentors”
No school policy, however comprehensive, can replace the influence of a parent. Research consistently shows that family habits and parental modelling are among the strongest predictors of whether a young person’s relationship with digital technology is healthy or not. Here are specific recommendations for parents:
Lead by Example: Establish positive lifestyle habits by putting away mobile phones and engaging in wellness activities with your children. By honestly reviewing our own digital habits, we can co-create a healthy family routine, beginning with a "device-free dinner table.
Understand Before Restricting: When you find your child glued to their phone, resist the first impulse to confiscate the device. Instead, ask a question: "What do you love most about this game?" Understanding what needs are being met behind the screen—be it social belonging or an escape from stress etc.—is the only way to address the core issue.
Protect Sleep (Non-negotiable): The negative impact of nighttime screen use on sleep quality and mental health is unambiguous. Devices should not be brought into bedrooms, a firm boundary that both parents and young people must uphold together.
Seek Professional Support Timely: If a young person’s phone habits have consistently and severely disrupted their sleep, meals, schoolwork, and face-to-face relationships, or if they become highly agitated when asked to put the device down, it may indicate signs of addiction. School social workers, counsellors, and professional organisations can provide proper assessment and intervention.
Our Appeal: A Three-Way Collaboration for Digital Citizenship
A school without phones during class time may create a calmer environment. But a rigid rule, on its own, will not produce young people capable of navigating the digital world with wisdom. Every sector of society must collaborate:
- The Education Bureau: Must move beyond the framework of "school-based management" to equip schools with evidence-informed frameworks, teacher training, and parent education resources.
- Schools: Must look past simple phone storage policies and invest in "digital citizenship education" as a curriculum priority, empowering students to practice self-management.
- Families: Cultivate mindful accompaniment. Establish an ongoing, non-judgmental dialogue with your children, rather than perceiving them merely as a behavioral issue requiring discipline.
This work begins at home, extends to schools, and matters to every single one of us.
