Changes in someone's behavior or personality maybe a sign of having suicidal thoughts. These may include:

• Becoming anxious, restless, irritable or agitated
• Quiet and distant, avoid interacting with people, skipping classes, inability to concentrate or think
• Change of sleep patterns or mood swings
• Change in appearance (e.g. Less concerned with appearance and hygiene)
• Saying negative comments towards themselves
• Signs of depression (e.g. Low mood, low energy, lack of motivation)
• Self-harm behaviors, such as unexpected cuts and bruises (usually on wrists, arms, or thigh), keeping themselves fully covered even in hot weather, or pulling out their hair

The following may suggest that they are thinking about attempting suicide or already have a plan:

• Suicide notes and plans (including online postings)
• Making final arrangements (e.g., Making funeral arrangements, writing a will, giving away prized possessions)
• History of prior suicidal attempt
• Spontaneous acts of affection (e.g. Saying “I love you” out of the blue), saying goodbye or last words as if they were leaving

Things you may hear:

• “The world would be a better place without me.”
• “It would be easier if everything just ended.”
• “I wish I could fall asleep and never woke up again.”
• “I hope I get hit by a car.”
• “I am a burden / failure”, “Nobody will miss me anyway.”
• “There is no hope for me anymore.”
• “I feel tired of living another day.”

Youth who feel suicidal are not likely to seek help directly; however, parents, school personnel, and peers can recognise the warning signs and take immediate action to keep the youth safe.

• Remain calm through the conversation.
• Ask the youth directly if he or she is thinking about suicide (e.g., "Are you thinking of suicide?").
• Listen to their feelings with a non-judgemental attitude, and do not judge. Reassure them that there is help and they will not feel like this forever.
• If you feel that the youth or your peer has a plan, do not leave them alone, provide constant supervision and seek help from an adult, school social worker, or even the police.

Remember: no one should ever agree to keep a youth's suicidal thoughts a secret.

Instead, tell an appropriate caregiving adults, such as a parent, teacher, or school social worker / counsellor.
Parents should seek help from school or community mental health resources as soon as possible.
School staff should take the student to a school-employed mental health professional or administrator.

The presence of protective factors can lessen the potential risks of suicidal ideation and behaviors. These include:

• Strong social support network, including friends, family and from the community.
• Environments and space that promotes healthy living and normalises mental health conversations.
• Equipped with healthy coping behaviors, e.g. regular routine, journaling, reaching out when needed, establishing healthy boundaries; and other life skills, such as problem-solving skills, time management, conflict resolution skills.

If you are a youth, you may:

• Provide a safe space for your peers to be themselves.
• Do not be afraid to talk to your friends.
• Listen to their feelings and let them know you are here for them.
• Tell a trusted adult. Don’t promise that you will keep their thoughts a secret, but don’t go behind their backs and tell someone else. Let them know you will tell a trusted adult as you are worried for their safety and this adult can provide further support.
• Be aware of the resources available in school. E.g. know who the school social worker / counselor is, what hotlines you can call.

You can also keep in mind to:

Always listen and take them seriously

• If someone does tell you they are having suicidal thoughts, always take them seriously. Try to listen with patience and without distractions.
• You are not there to fix their problems nor find solutions. Just be there and encourage them to talk about how they are feeling.

Arrange to speak to them again

• Arrange to speak to them again at a specific time. This will show your ongoing support and will make them feel valued.

Do simple gestures, which are also beneficial

• Suggest doing something with them, like going out for a walk, have a cup of coffee, playing a video game with them, etc.
• Sitting with them in silence.
• Give them a hug or a pat on the back.

If you suspect your child/student is having suicidal thoughts, ask them directly using clear words like “suicide”, “taking your own life”, rather than using ambiguous terms like “thoughts of hurting yourself” or “having dark thoughts”. You may ask them, “Sometimes when people are feeling the way you are right now also think about suicide, Is that something you’re thinking about?”

Being direct lets your child/student know that it is okay to talk about it, that they should find someone to talk about it, and that you are a possible person to talk to. Here are some conversation starts you can use:

• “I’ve recently noticed that…”
• “I’m wondering if something has been bothering you lately.”
• “What has brought you to thinking this way?”